Why don’t we hear about the numbers of male abuse victims?

From Jenna Birch at Yahoo! Health:

Roughly 40 percent of the victims of severe physical violence were men. The CDC repeated the survey in 2011, the results of which were published in 2014, and found almost identical numbers — with the percentage of male severe physical violence victims slightly rising.

“Reports are also showing a decline of the number of women and an increase in the number of men reporting” abuse, says counselor and psychologist Karla Ivankovich, PhD, an adjunct professor of psychology at the University of Illinois, Springfield.

Ivankovich says there isn’t much buzz about these numbers or their implications, because we don’t know how to handle intimate partner violence against men. “Society supports that men should not hit women, by virtue — but the same is not true for the reverse,” she explains. “The fact is, it’s simply not acceptable to hit anyone.”

The whole article, with quotes from our own Anne Mitchell, Esq., is here.

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Why are we so conflicted about manhood in the modern age?

From The Art of Manliness blog comes “Why Are We So Conflicted About Manhood in the Modern Age?”

Here in the West we live in the most resource-rich period in all human history. Even the poverty of today is far less harsh than the poverty of a century ago. The strength of the government’s safety net is debated, but its very existence is a distinctly modern phenomena. Food is so plentiful we have an obesity problem. There hasn’t been a world war in three-quarters of a century. There is very little danger; a man can go his entire life without ever getting into a fistfight. The job of defending the perimeter has been outsourced to a tiny fraction of the population. Not only does most labor not require any physical strength, we have to remind ourselves to even stand up sometimes — to take a break from sitting in front a screen around the clock. Given this positively luxurious environment, it should come as no surprise that an emphasis on manhood is currently very weak. Society doesn’t need most men to perform dirty, strenuous, dangerous jobs for which their propensity for risk-taking and their physical strength make them uniquely suited. Men are so seemingly unnecessary that we even have the luxury of denigrating them – of speculating whether we might have reached “the end of men.”

The whole thing is here.

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A Disadvantaged Start Hurts Boys More Than Girls

From Claire Cain Miller in the New York Times:

Boys are falling behind. They graduate from high school and attend college at lower rates than girls and are more likely to get in trouble, which can hurt them when they enter the job market. This gender gap exists across the United States, but it is far bigger for poor people and for black people. As society becomes more unequal, it seems, it hurts boys more.

New research from social scientists offers one explanation: Boys are more sensitive than girls to disadvantage. Any disadvantage, like growing up in poverty, in a bad neighborhood or without a father, takes more of a toll on boys than on their sisters. That realization could be a starting point for educators, parents and policy makers who are trying to figure out how to help boys — particularly those from black, Latino and immigrant families.

The entire article is here.

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The Boy Crisis: A Sobering Look at the State of our Boys

Warren Farrell Ph.D. discusses the Boy Crisis at TEDxMarin. A few highlights:

  • “If our very survival has been dependent on our sons’ willingness to die for us, then being sensitive to male death competes with our survival instinct.”
  • “Dad deprived boys go from their dad deprived homes to male teacher deprived schools. We didn’t used to know the importance of that.”
  • “The feminist movement and society helped introduce women to the STEM professions but no one introduced boys to the caring professions.”
  • John Lennon story at the end.

 

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Could Fathers Be the Key to Preventing Bullying?

From Could Fathers Be the Key to Preventing Bullying? by Anna Sutherland in Institute for Family Studies Blog 

But as the researchers note, many of the studies in this sphere focus on mothers rather than fathers; there is a “notable void in the literature” when it comes to fathers and bullying. And given what we know about how fathers influence kids’ behavior and social skills, that’s a major problem. For instance, a slew of studies underline that kids with absent fathers engage in more externalizing behaviors, meaning they are more aggressive and more apt to fight or break rules than kids whose fathers are present. Sara McLanahan, Laura Tach, and Daniel Schneider have shown that this difference is not just due to selection.

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Manorexia: The Masculine Side of Body Image Distortion

From Manorexia: The Masculine Side of Body Image Distortion by Armin Brott in Talking About Men’s Health

In the U.S., at least a third of the 30 million people suffering from eating disorders are boys or men, according to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA). That’s 10 million people, most of whom won’t ever get the help they desperately need because they have a Y chromosome. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a real–and sometimes quite deadly–tragedy.

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Sweden Opens World’s First Rape Center for Men

From Maddy Savage at The Local:

[T]he hospital, which hosts the largest emergency care unit in the Nordic region, is opening its doors to men and boys who are victims of rape and sex attacks.
“We are happy that we now can finally open the first rape clinic for men following the rape clinic for women,” Rasmus Jonlund, a press spokesperson for the Liberal Party, which led the campaign for the department in the Swedish capital, told The Local just ahead of the launch.
“It is the first in Sweden (…) We think it is the first in the world. We haven’t found another from our research on the world wide web,” he added….
In 2014, some 370 cases of sexual assault on men or boys were reported across Sweden, according to the Swedish National Council for Crime Prevention, although experts believe that the actual figure is much higher.
“We don’t know how many people will use it (…) but we know that there are many who experience these kinds of assaults but don’t currently seek care,” said Jonlund.
“Our hope now is that many more of these hidden victims will also be able to get help now.”

The whole article is here.

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Mars vs. Venus: The gender gap in health

An overview of male and female heath statistics. Mars vs. Venus: The gender gap in health in Harvard’s Men’s Health Watch (2010)

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An Open Letter to Social Workers

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From Tom Golden at MenAreGood, “An Open Letter to Social Workers“, part 1:

In the 1980’s and 1990’s, when I worked as a psychotherapist with many traumatized men and women, it was clear that society’s focus was to help women suffering from emotional trauma. Matters became a lot more fuzzy where it concerned men’s pain. I found out very quickly that a man’s emotional pain was taboo. No one wants to hear it, people want to run away.

Honestly and compassionately addressing men’s pain usually triggers an instinctive fear that in doing so those men will no longer be available to provide and protect. They become, at least in our unconscious minds, a liability that we cannot afford.

It took me some time to understand that this fear created an empathy gap that is still rampant in the field. Even in what is supposed to be an enlightened field of work, we are operating on some level as though compassion for men will bring us to ruin. This detachment, indifference to and even hostility toward men’s pain and hardship will be made quite visible to you in the remainder of this article.

 

And part 2:

Our war dead are nearly all males. If that were any other group it would not be tolerated but since it is males, many in their teens, the response is silence. They are disposable. Our workplace deaths are 93% males. Child custody after divorce almost always means the virtual removal of one parent, more often the father. Rather than our courts seeking to restructure families through sensible plans of shared parenting, they opt for profitably ugly battles and persecution.

No one suffers more from this than the children of divorce. Fatherless children are clearly and negatively impacted by every psychosocial measure we can make of their lives. Truancy, delinquency, teen pregnancy, drug use, academic failure, violence and mental illness all skyrocket in homes where the father is largely absent.

Rather than point to the discrimination in courts and how it is ultimately damaging children, many, some social workers included, are generally more likely to sloganize the problem in terms of “deadbeat dads” and other shallow and misleading buzzwords.

 

Photo from Golden’s article, a playground mural illustrating the whimsy of violence against men.

Posted in Boys, Fatherlessness, Men, Men's Mental Health, Suicide, The Boy Crisis | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Molly K. Olsen interviewed on new Affirmative Consent policies at University of Minnesota

Commissioner Molly K. Olsen on Up & At ‘Em Twin Cities News Talk on the new Affirmative Consent policy at the University of Minnesota. Molly speaks on due process issues and our commission starting around the 14 minute mark.

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Gender Gap Journalism

Gender Gap Journalism by Kay Hymowitz at the Institute for Family Studies blog:

The gender gap doesn’t bring out the best in journalists.  With important exceptions, articles on the subject are padded with overly broad statistics, cherry picked research, a myopic view of men and women as lone economic actors, over-credulous references to Sweden, and most insidious of all, an implicit, never-argued assumption that in a just world (i.e. Sweden) women and men would reveal almost exactly the same preferences.  A piece that appeared in Sunday’s New York Times Upshot section “The Motherhood Penalty and the Fatherhood Bonus” by Claire Cain Miller, is a fine example of the genre.

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Let’s Reclaim the Glory of Being a ‘Maker’

From “Let’s Reclaim the Glory of Being a ‘Maker’” by Lori Sanders and Cameron Smith in The Federalist.

We’ve heard the story of declining wages over and over. We’ve repeatedly heard the political talking points about the threat of offshoring. We want our children to have better lives than we did.

But if parents want their children to enjoy successful, fulfilling lives, it may be time to broaden our vision of what that entails. It’s telling that, in today’s America, more parents would be likely to accept their five-year-old son’s declaration that he identifies as a girl than would accept their 18-year-old’s proclamation that he wants to be an underwater welder, even though the pay for that particular vocation ranges from $54,000 to well over $100,000.

To upend this narrative that has so many of us looking down our noses at some of the best emerging job opportunities, we need to shift our attitude about the fundamental purpose of education and redefine what success looks like. We need a cultural change of heart, which starts with parents. Not every boy needs to grow up to be a welder, but neither should every boy grow up to be a lawyer.

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Updated Video: Talking the Boy Crisis with the Republican Candidates in Iowa

 

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Man Servant

Emily Yoffe, aka Dear Prudence at Slate, offers counsel about a man whose wife berates him while he works two jobs.

Q. Friend in Trouble: I’m very worried about my friend “Ted.” He works two full-time jobs at literally all hours—sometimes all day, sometimes all night, but always 12 to 16 hours per day. His wife does not work and stays home with their young son. She is a warm and friendly person when I am with her, but I have been shocked to hear her scream at Ted on the other end of his cellphone. When I saw Ted recently, he was a shadow of the gentle and funny person I have known since we were kids—exhausted, emaciated, and almost silent when his wife is around, which is all the time. He and his wife have fallen out with his family and the other friends he had before his marriage, and I don’t think he has anyone in his life right now other than his wife. Is there anything I can do for him?

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Men Are Dying Because They Can’t Talk

From Christos Reid at Medium, Men Are Dying Because They Can’t Talk:

The Silence Problem

Men are more at risk of committing suicide, states professor and chair of the National Suicide Prevention Advisory Group in England, Louis Appleby, because they are “reluctant to seek help”, in addition to being more prone to heavy drinking and self-harm. The problem isn’t going away, even internationally—every country in the world has seen male suicides outstrip female ones, and it’s because men are silent. Or, rather, they are trained to be.

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Democratic Primary Debate Tuesday, October 13th, 2015

Here is the WHCBM Presidential Debates Schedule for all Democrats and Republicans
To help promote the WHCBM Proposal:
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Highly Educated = Husband Material?

Karol Markowicz in the New York Post, “This guy went to college, but it doesn’t make him husband material.” (The picture of “this guy” at the link is John Belushi from Animal House.)

With more women going to college than ever before, there are only so many baccalaureate bachelors for them to meet and marry.

That seems reasonable at first glance. Hey, if a woman is looking for someone with her level of education, and this is a deal-breaker for her, then sure, there’s a serious shortage of suitable men.

Birger points out that a woman who was 34 in 2007 began college in 1991 when women outnumbered men on college campuses by 10 percent. He notes that “in 2012, 34 percent more women than men graduated 4-year colleges.”

The numbers are indeed daunting. But they obscure a question all of these unmarried college-graduate women should be asking themselves: Why does a degree matter so much, anyway?

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Why Are Boys Failing in School?

Tom Golden interviews Jennifer Fink of Building Boys and Mark Sherman, Ph.D. on why boys are failing in school.

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Don’t Sell Fathers Short

Fathers are as crucial to a child’s well being as a mother by Barbara Kay in the National Post.

It is true that fathers abandon or are exiled by family court from their children “all the time,” as Jon notes. But the fact that fatherlessness is common — moreover widely accepted as normal by certain ideologues and, by trickle-down effect, in certain cultural enclaves — makes it no less tragic a loss for every father-deprived child. About a third of American children live apart from their fathers, and in general, they are not doing well.

Girls without fathers are more likely to suffer low self-esteem, become pregnant or embrace promiscuity, while boys without fathers are at risk for a multiplicity of poor outcomes, notably school dropout, gang membership and imprisonment. In black communities, where the epidemic is most acute, fatherlessness is a far more serious obstacle to upward mobility than racism. 

The full article is here.

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9 Signs We Have A Boy Crisis

From CollegeStats.org, number 8 of 9:

Boys are far more likely to be the victims of violent crime:

A fact that goes hand-in-hand with boys’ high rate of incarceration is that they are up to five times more likely to die by homicide (as in 2004) and up to seven times more likely to die in a gun-related death than girls. These are the boys who got out of juvenile detention or managed to never be sent there and who raised their risk factors through certain high-risk behaviors, as laid out by the Department of Health and Human Services. These include early aggressive behavior, drug and/or alcohol abuse, hanging out with other troubled kids, and poor academic performance; in other words, all issues that could be prevented at a young age through education or other responsible adult instruction.

The whole list is here.

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Boy Trouble

An overview of what we call The Boy Crisis, Boy Trouble by Kay S. Hymowitz in City Journal, 2013: 

When I started following the research on child well-being about two decades ago, the focus was almost always girls’ problems—their low self-esteem, lax ambitions, eating disorders, and, most alarming, high rates of teen pregnancy. Now, though, with teen births down more than 50 percent from their 1991 peak and girls dominating classrooms and graduation ceremonies, boys and men are increasingly the ones under examination. Their high school grades and college attendance rates have remained stalled for decades. Among poor and working-class boys, the chances of climbing out of the low-end labor market—and of becoming reliable husbands and fathers—are looking worse and worse.

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